A Sincere Bond or an Obsession? Part 2
Phone calls became weekly, chats reduced, Facebook inboxes left without any reply, messages on the phone ignored.
Reem did explain to Tamanna about her current phase and how she needed to make up for all the years of ignorance towards her parents with the desire to give oceans of love to them in return.
Tammy responded by only saying with a difficult smile, “It’s fine Reem, may Allah make it easy for you and grant you the best in both the worlds, but whenever you need me just take a turn. I will always be there insha Allah.”
Although she said it from the top of her head in reality she couldn’t handle this distance. This shattered her being, she felt empty and grieved without any valid reason. Life had abruptly been overshadowed by a cloud of loneliness, and although there were so many others around her, all she wanted was Reem. She craved her company like a fish dying for priceless water, desiring her presence like the air that humans need to breath. Yes! All she desired was Reem and she sat around like a traveller waiting for the train.
Yet what she couldn’t fathom was the fact that Reem was in need of her no more. She couldn’t believe they were sailing apart and Reem showed no signs of distress. She was messed up with her own mixed emotions. SubhanAllah! What she failed to realize was that this friendship, which she cherished, had now become a drug, a need. This over dependency and attachment to this one creature had come in between the path of her and Allah.
Yes, this “love” was actually competing with the everlasting love – the love of Ar – Rahmaan. The blunder she committed was that she tried to content herself with naming it ‘feesabeelillaah’ but in reality the relationship fillaah had now taken its toll over her senses and had captured her heart completely. If it was FOR the sake of Allah (SWT) then naturally Allah (SWT) must come first, yeah? But here, in an unapparent way, Reem had become her ‘illah’ (something that you want to please/ worship).
This is the case that Ustadhah Yasmin Mogahed reflects on in her book when addressing a relationship messing up. It’s when the Master blesses you with the most awesome of gifts and you start loving the gifts more than the Giver of the gifts.
In her divine words she says, “Allah gives us gifts, but then we come to love them as we should only love Him. We take those gifts and inject them into our hearts, until they take over. Soon we cannot live without them. Every waking moment is spent in contemplation of them, in submission and worship to them. What we must realise is that this heart is the territory of God, but when you allow others to invade and reside in it, the peace from it is taken away. It soaks in the love of people very easily, it’s human nature to fall for the ones who adore you but when that becomes an ‘addiction’, the person suffers terribly.”
You might consider a bond that’s beautiful as your strength, as it bringing you closer to Allah (SWT), but sometimes, gradually it becomes your biggest source of disappointment and heartache. Yes, now it’s a desire, it’s an obsession, its greed and you need it by hook or by crook and so you don’t hesitate to cross any limits. That’s the point when you need to open your eyes, to see and break free from shackles of these kinds of unhealthy attachments.
Each one of us must be careful that we don’t unconsciously make someone else our reason to live, as the kalimaah itself says La illaaha illah Allah! So when we bear witness to the Oneness of that Lord, doesn’t it also mean that we also live for that very same Lord?