Bismillahirrahmanirrahiim
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
Praise be to Allah. May the peace and blessings of Allah be showered upon our Beloved Messenger, his family, companions, and those who follow them.
Intimacy in the marital relationship is certainly desired by each family. Intimacy not only exists between a husband and wife during sexual intercourse (jima’) but it is also an expression of their love for one another.
The following advice of Rasulullah, Shalallahu ‘alaihi wasallam, for ensuring peace and happiness in the family both in this world and in the hereafter provides the fundamentals:
“The best among you are those who behave best toward their wives. I am the best among you toward his wives. The best among you is the one who is the kindest to his wife and the worst among you is the one who treats his wife badly.”(Narrated by Bukhari-Muslim)
We, as Muslims should be grateful, because Rasulullah, Shalallahu ‘alaihi wasallam, as the best role model, has provided us with complete guidance, including terms of maintaining the intimacy of the marital relationship. Although holding hands with each other seems to be an insignificant thing that is sometimes forgotten by married couples, this act of affection can make the atmosphere more intimate for the couple. Rasulullah, Shalallahu ‘alaihi wasallam, said : “When couples hold hands, sins will come out through the cracks of their fingers”.
But can Muslims (husband and wife) hold hands in public?
It is said that one day Rasulullah, Shalallahu ‘alaihi wasallam, along with Aisha, Radhiallahu ‘anha, were watching a performing arts event. At that time Aisha watched while her chin was put on the shoulders of Rasulullah, Shalallahu ‘alaihi wasallam. This is proven by the hadith narrated by Aisha, Radhiallahu ‘anha:
كان رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم جالسا فسمعنا لغطا وصوت صبيان فقام رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم فإذا حبشية تزفن والصبيان حولها فقال يا عائشة تعالي فانظري فجئت فوضعت لحيي على منكب رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم فجعلت أنظر إليها ما بين المنكب إلى رأسه فقال لي أما شبعت أما شبعت قالت فجعلت أقول لا لأنظر منزلتي عنده إذ طلع عمر قالت فارفض الناس عنها قالت فقال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم إني لأنظر إلى شياطين الإنس والجن قد فروا من عمر
“One time Rasulullah, Shalallahu ‘alaihi wasallam, was sitting and there was an audible noise and sound of children. Rasulullah, Shalallahu ‘alaihi wasallam, stood up and looked, there was a Habsyah woman surrounded by children as it was being entered into the show. Rasulullah, Shalallahu ‘alaihi wasallam, said; “O Aisha, come here, and look at this”. I came and I put my chin on the shoulder of Rasulullah, Shalallahu ‘alaihi wasallam, and see the performance. Soon afterwards Rasulullah,Shalallahu ‘alaihi wasallam, asked; “Are you satisfied? Are you satisfied? ‘I said; “Not yet”. Suddenly appeared Omar bin Al-Khattab, causing the children and Habsyah women to run away. Rasulullah, Shalallahu ‘alaihi wasallam, said; I actually saw Shaytan Man and Jin fled from Omar “ .
This Hadith is a proof, that Rasulullah, Shalallahu ‘alaihi wasallam, showed affection to his wife in the presence of an audience.
In general, Islamic practice is to keep signs of intimacy in private without taking it into the public sphere. Love between husband and wife must be a real and honest one, only for themselves and not for public show as making love is the type that takes place between husband and wife when they are alone. It is not even permissible to do it in front of the children whether they are small kids or big. Allah, Subhanahu wa Ta’ala, says in Surah An-Nur verse 58-59 :
“O you who have believed, let those whom your right hands possess and those who have not [yet] reached puberty among you ask permission of you [before entering] at three times: before the dawn prayer and when you put aside your clothing [for rest] at noon and after the night prayer. [These are] three times of privacy for you. There is no blame upon you nor upon them beyond these [periods], for they continually circulate among you – some of you, among others. Thus does Allah make clear to you the verses; and Allah is Knowing and Wise”.(58)
“And when the children among you reach puberty, let them ask permission [at all times] as those before them have done. Thus does Allah make clear to you His verses; and Allah is Knowing and Wise.”(59)
It does not, however, mention specifically whether it is permissible or impermissible to hold hands between husband and wife in public in the Al-Qur’an.
The scholars, Rahimahumullah, stated that one should take into consideration the customs of the people as long as that does not contradict Islamic Law. There is no harm for a husband to hold the hand of his wife in public unless it is considered a weakness in virility or a lack of bashfulness in the customs of a given country; in such a case it should be avoided.
Sometimes, it might become obligatory in some situations, like when crossing the road, if the wife was elderly or sick and could not walk on her own, if she could not get out of the vehicle without holding the husband’s hand, or if she is walking over some ice and needs to hold his hand or else she will fall.
Allah wants ease for His slave and does not want hardship for His slave.
Whatever is written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever is of error is from me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength. May Allah guide all of us to the right path.
