Children browsing pornographic sites from internet
We realize that there is a big difference between our times and our children’s times. Therefore you must teach your children according to the appropriate era, because one day they will have to live in a different era without you.
When I was small it was not easy to even watch television, but today gadgets are easily available to most of our kids. Each child looks cool with the gadget in hand and whenever they want to get any information all they have to do is click, from the greatest to the smallest of objects. Have we been aware of how these things might make our children become anti-social in their real lives? Have we protected them from hidden dangers, when our children see any information, movies, or images that they should not be permitted to watch? What about when our children access a porn site, what should we do? Should we accompany children at all times in front of the monitor screen?
Our first reaction is sure to be shock, anger, and strong emotions when we find our child accessing to pornographic websites. Do we have to get mad and punish them by not allowing them to play online anymore? And what about our children’s school tasks that require them to look up information on the internet?
As parents we do not want our children to learn too many things from outside or from anyone other than us as their parents. I personally believe that children should learn most things from their own parents and starting from the family. It feels better when the child is told, “Your Qur’an reading is great” and his/her answer is “My mum teaches me.” Or when they are told, “You know the organs of the human body in great detail,” and they will respond, “My parents explained them to me when I accidentally opened a website that I should not have opened.”
Firstly, every parent should explain the dangers of gaming and porn sites to their children, in addition to explaining the meaning of heart zina (adultery) and eye zina, lest the heart becomes dirty due to watching these things.
A religious approach is important for adolescents so that they may know what the limits are and can be aware of them. We should, however, not prohibit them from understanding things that they should know. We should give them an understanding of the biological sciences, of early sex education and we should open communication with them. Do not be shy when children ask about things that might make some of us hesitate discussing (especially in the East countries). It is better that they ask and learn the truth from us as parents.
In the Holy Qur’an, Allah Almighty says in Surah An-Nisa: 1 as follows:
يَـٰٓأَيُّہَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱتَّقُواْ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُم مِّن نَّفۡسٍ۬ وَٲحِدَةٍ۬ وَخَلَقَ مِنۡہَا زَوۡجَهَا وَبَثَّ مِنۡہُمَا رِجَالاً۬ كَثِيرً۬ا وَنِسَآءً۬ ۚ وَٱتَّقُواْ ٱللَّهَ ٱلَّذِى تَسَآءَلُونَ بِهِۦ وَٱلۡأَرۡحَامَ ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلَيۡكُمۡ رَقِيبً۬ا (١)
O mankind, fear your Lord, who created you from one soul and created from it its mate and dispersed from both of them many men and women. And fear Allah , through whom you ask one another, and the wombs. Indeed Allah is ever, over you, an Observer.
When children enter the age of baligh (maturity), there are a lot of things that they should know. For boys, we should teach them about wet dreams. They should know how to face this from a religious angle, from bathing to reading du’a. In addition, do not forget to give them an understanding of how all their body parts and organs are already functioning. For girls who are baligh, they must really understand when they get their period and we must provide a better understanding of what should be done and what should be avoided when her menstruation begins.
The Prophet (SAW) narrated:
“Send your children to pray when they are seven years old, and beat them (without pain if they do not pray) when they are ten years old, and separate in their beds.” (Narrated by Abu Dawud)
Either way, we should make our children our friends, and always pray to Allah to protect our children.
As described in a selection of poetry written by Kahlil Gibran:
Make the pull of the archer’s hand as excitement. Because when he/she loves the arrows that fly, so he/she loves also the bow that has launched with full force.