I begin with mentioning the beautiful name of Allah (SWT)
March 8 2009 | Siem Reap, Cambodia
The clock doesn’t appear to be ticking; the world stops revolving so it seems. Whatever you do, things can become stagnant. Have you ever felt that way?
That was how I felt right there in the comfort of the villa we stayed at in Cambodia just 10 minutes walk from the town center.
Regrets? Today is day three and tomorrow I will be heading back to my homeland. Not sure if regret is the appropriate word to describe the impulse I had within.
Perhaps, deep longing is more appropriate to describe my state of emotion then. In retrospect, I wouldn’t have started the traveling experience when there were pulling and pushing factors which contributed to it. The pulling factors, I reckoned, were the calling to explore a new territory. That includes getting out of my comfort and familiar zone, learning new cultures, meeting new friends, observing different lifestyles and local values, and doing things that I have never done before.
Yes, I picked up a habit of hugging trees. In my country, doing that is not a common sight. So, I do it only when I am literally away from the eyes of the public. When I had this burning longing to hug a tree, I’d drive to Titiwangsa Lake Garden and rushed over to the frangipani garden: that’s my secret garden. Walking barefooted at night, either by the full moon or when the dark blue celestial sky is studded by twinkling stars, induces a sense of beauty and clarity for me. The 53rd Surah in al-Qur’an is an-Najm, the stars. There’s something special about the stars and trees.
…and by the stars they are also guided1
Ships are made from wood that is cut from a tree. When it is in its voyage in the endless ocean, stars are its compass.
I observed and allowed my longing to overtake me whilst gazing upon the stars through the window until I had fallen asleep.
May 20, 2014 | Third Space, Pantai Dalam, Kuala Lumpur
Baraka Blue Soundheart Session event. There he was, clad in a red batik shirt and dark glass. He appeared serene, present and grounded. He shared his story of how he reverted to Islam in his 20’s.
He is a renowned rapper and spoken word artist and his subjects are universal; the perfect man. With hidayah bestowed upon him by Allah (SWT), curiosity about HIS creation, seeking truth (haqq) and inward reflection, he embraced Islam.
“All of us are born with talent, regardless. It is our duty to uncover our talent and share. Poetry is something you can’t really learn as it may loose it senses. You must read a lot, and then write poetry,” he said. “Enthusiasm and curiosity. That keeps a person seeking for something. We all are seekers after all, aren’t we? And Jalaluddin al-Rumi, the great scholar and poet said, ‘What you seek is seeking you.’”
At a point of time, we may have no clue as to what it is we are actually seeking. That’s absolutely fine. In time, with the grace and will of Allah (SWT), what we are seeking is indeed seeking us. Serendipity.
In his creative writing class, I recited a poem and I had no clue that it turned out to be an expression of another deep longing. It was not just my father.
A spectrum of emotions enveloped my being as I recited that poem, “I Want to Remember.”
1Surah An-Nahl 16:16
