I Feel My Iman Slipping…What to Do?
Do you ever feel that your prayer wasn’t khooshu? Were you thinking about that meat cooking or the laundry that wasn’t done yet or homework wasn’t done while you were praying? I have.
Have you ever had a spell where you can’t sleep at proper times nor wake up early for Fajr times? I have.
Do you know in your heart of hearts that you should fast Monday, Thursday or fast something in a month but you are making excuses? I have.
Have you said or cursed bad words and emulated behavior of the unbeliever maybe because you were around them too much? or you watched a movie? or it just came out? I hate to admit, but I have.
Did you see your sister in Islam and after meeting her you immediately spoke ill of her? Or have you said ill things about anyone in general? Astagfirullah! I hope I haven’t, but humans forget!
Okay, so Allah is the most gracious and the most merciful … can I become better? How? ..
Why humans are often negligent in performing worships to their Rabb like focus more on worldly life, ignore that we are getting older, forget that our life contracts from the Creator will be depleted, and neglect that in the end we will die? Why? Because every human has lusts or desires. In the Qur’an Allah states that man has,
1. Ammaarah Bis-Suu’, or lust to evil (Surah Yusuf 12:53):
and I do not acquit myself. Indeed the soul is a persistent enjoiner of evil, except those upon which my Lord has mercy. Indeed, my Lord is Forgiving and Merciful.
2. Lawwaamah , or soul who likes regretful for him or herself (Surah Al-Qiyamah 75: 1-2):
I swear by the Day of Resurrection. And I swear by the reproaching soul [to the certainty of resurrection].
3. Muthmainnah, or a peaceful soul (Surah Al-Fajr 89: 27-30):
[To the righteous it will be said], “O reassured soul, return to your Lord, well-pleased and pleasing [to Him], and enter among My [righteous] servants, and enter My Paradise.
So how are we always in the Muthmainnah soul?
I remember of my teacher said 15 years ago. He made a note of his activities, what he had done on that day. Evaluate what mistakes were done either intentionally or unintentionally.
Monday, 28 October 2013
My good deeds today:
- Sahoor for sunat fasting
- Tahajud prayer 2 roka’at and witr 3 roka’at
- Pray five times plus circumcision rawatib
- Reading Al-Quran 2 pages
- Dhikr after obligatory prayers
- Shodaqoh to a cleaning service
My negligence today:
- Late to perform Subh prayer, as couldn’t sleep right after tahajud
- Miss Duha prayer, due to work on the computer in hours (hmmmh…)
- Chatting with a friend through bbm messenger and gossip of an old friend
- Forget to read evening prayer of matsurat
- Angry to my child for a trivial thing
- Not serving my husband…ups
- Lazy to do Muroja’ah (Qur’an memorization)
Of course when we write the ‘list’ we have to be honest with ourselves, don’t cheat….and look after one week. Are our good deeds more than our bad deeds? If not, what we should add and what we should eliminate?
Actually Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta’aala has given us direction in the Al-Qur’an to recharge our iman. What are they?
- Multiply remembrance of Allah by Tasbih (Subhanallah), Takbir (Allahu Akbar), and Tahmid (Alhamdulillah) (Surah al-Ahzab 33: 41-42)
- Multiply tahajud prayers and tasbih in the middle of the night (Surah Adh-Dzaariyat 51: 17-18)
- Beg forgiveness of Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta’aala (Surah Ali Imron 3: 133)
- Fear of His punishment (QS Al Mu’minuun 23:57)
- Strive hard against the evil passions (Surah Al-Ankabut 29:69)
- Assess yourself and determine punishment for negligence had done (Surah Ibrahim 14:22)
- Considered that all sin and wrongdoing are a great sin so avoid repeating the same sin, and motivate yourself to be pious (Surah Al-Hajj 22:32).