Oh Muslimah, so you are ready to get married? Or have you been thinking a lot about the notion of marriage? Have you met Mr. Right? Have your parents started introducing some potential husbands? Or maybe you have secretly joined some Muslim dating sites? Or maybe you are secretly or openly talking to that special someone on Facebook? Whatever the mode Insha Allah you guys are keeping it Halal! I wanted to write about this marriage topic because I think sometimes we (Muslims sisters) think more with our hearts and desires rather than our minds. Not that it’s a bad thing to follow the heart but using the mind in choosing the man in your life is also super important.
Why?
Because just because the brother is so hot and cute doesn’t mean that he is a match for you or will he bring you Barakah in your marriage. I know, sisters you are thinking you want to marry someone who you are attracted to not someone sensible. Well, in Islam we are given tools on how to choose your husband. So sisters what qualities you look at when choosing the man in your life? I am guessing you look at are his looks, then his wealth, his pedigree and then his religion (his Iman and Taqwa ). Am I kinda right? Ok is for some Muslimah’s you may switch some of those things around and as you meet and or are introduced to you start to get confused. I know I did. Sometimes. You may think that the looks are most important and even he may not pray all five prayers. He could increase it later right? Maybe he just needs to settle down and you are up to the challenge in changing him! Or maybe you are thinking that wealth is most important because it will secure your future. These are all short term
marriage strategies.
Here is a sure strategy that hinges on Deen which puts all things ti Allah swt. So sisters, no need to think hard and long. Islam has already given us guidance on how to choose our spouses (by the way this article isn’t just for Muslim sisters but also for Muslim brothers ) ok so what and how?
As I said earlier in this article:
- Their looks (beauty or handsome)
- Their wealth (how much they earn or their net worth)
- Their pedigree – their family (noble family, do they come from a good and noble family (not necessarily wealthy)
- Their Iman and Taqwa (their steadfast in Islam)
This list makes sense, but the true rule of thumb based on Islamic teachings is when you are choosing your husband (or wife) flip the above list and start from number 4.
So now it reads:
- Their Iman and Taqwa (their steadfast in Islam)
- Their pedigree – their family (noble family, do they come from a good and noble family (not necessarily wealthy)
- Their wealth (how much they earn or their net worth)
- Their looks (beauty or handsome)
When you use this checklist Insha Allah you will have a good match filled with peace in your marriage. I used this and Allhamdullilah 16 years and counting.
Wishing you all the best in finding that special someone to complete your Deen.
