Bismillahir Ar Rahmaanir Rahiim
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
As human beings, human life cannot be separated from what is called love. We are born with a heart and Allah has created people in such a way that they enjoy being loved and showing love to others; humans are pleased with friendships and closeness. Love is one of the greatest blessings which reminds us to appreciate life and to give love from deep within our heart to those who we love, rely on, and are close to. The true source of love in the believers’ hearts is their profound love of Allah. Believers love Allah greatly and, at every moment, strive to gain His love and good pleasure.
If you want to be loved by Allah, then love the Messenger of Allah.
قُلْ إِن كُنتُمْ تُحِبُّونَ اللّهَ فَاتَّبِعُونِي يُحْبِبْكُمُ اللّهُ
وَيَغْفِرلَكُمْ ذُنُوبَكُمْ وَاللّهُ غَفُورٌ رَّحِيم
(Qul inkuntum tuhibbunallah-fat-tabi’ûnî yuhbibkumullâh wa yaghfirlakum dzunubakum wallahu ghafurrahiim)
Say, [O Muhammad], “If you truly love Allah, then follow me; Allah will love you and forgive you your sins; and Allah is Forgiving and Merciful” [Qur’an, 3:31].
Islam encourages showing affection and love towards each other all the times. The Prophet said: “When a man loves his brother, he should tell him that he loves him.” [Abu Dawood and At-Tirmidhi]
In another Hadith, he said: “By Him in Whose Hand my soul is, you will not enter Paradise unless you believe, and you will not believe unless you love each other. Should I direct you to something that if you constantly did it, you would love each other? Spread the greetings of peace among you.” [Muslim].
Subhanallah, Allah has created men and women as company for one another, and so that they can procreate and live in peace and tranquility according to the commandments of Allah and the directions of His Messenger. Al- Qur’an says:
وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً ۚ إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِّقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ
Wa min ayatihi an khalaqa lakum min anfusikum azwajan litaskunuu ilayhawaj’ala baynakum mawaddatan warahmatan inna fee thalika laayatin liqawmin yatafakkaruuna
“And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts); verily in that are signs for those who reflect.” [ Al-Quran 30:21 ]
“And Allah has made for you, your mates of your own nature, and made for you, out of them, sons and daughters and grandchildren, and provided for you sustenance of the best.” [Al- Quran 16:72]
What about love in relation to the love between men and women before marriage or out of marriage from an Islamic perspective? Dating in today’s terms is a form of relationship between a couple of human beings (of different genders) who have an affinity towards each other and this could lead to adultery.
Dating relationships of physical activity without the norms of Islam are not allowed and are forbidden because Islam prohibits adultery, the Arabic term is zina. There are two forms of zina: zina of the eyes (which involves looking at each other, etc.) and zina of the body (from holding hands to actual sex). Although each of these actions are different kinds of sin, they are still considered as sin.
In fact, Islam prohibits all kinds of actions that can bring or lead someone to zina. Allah says, “And do not you approach zina. Indeed the act of adultery is a vile and bad road. “(Surah Al-Isra ‘: 32).
As far as male and female interaction is concerned, Islam dictates strict rules: It forbids all forms of ‘dating’ and isolating oneself with a member of the opposite sex different gender), as well indiscriminate mingling and mixing.
Tell the believing men to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts. That is purer for them. Indeed, Allah is Acquainted with what they do. (An-Nur:30)
And tell the believing women to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts and not expose their adornment except that which [necessarily] appears thereof and to wrap [a portion of] their head covers over their chests and not expose their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands’ fathers, their sons, their husbands’ sons, their brothers, their brothers’ sons, their sisters’ sons, their women, that which their right hands possess, or those male attendants having no physical desire, or children who are not yet aware of the private aspects of women. And let them not stamp their feet to make known what they conceal of their adornment. And turn to Allah in repentance, all of you, O believers, that you might succeed. (An-Nur:31).
From an Islamic perspective, when choosing a partner, the most important factor that should be taken into consideration is Taqwa (piety and consciousness of Allah). The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, recommended the suitors to see each other before going through with marriage procedures. That is very important because it is unreasonable for two people to be thrown into marriage and be expected to have a successful marital life, full of love and affection, when they know nothing of each other. The couples are permitted to look at each other.
There are many ways to recognize the prospective wife/husband (spouse) properly, and we have to choose a way that does not contradict the teachings of Islam or leave a manner contrary to the teachings of Islam. Can we not trace the state of the candidate’s wife through a trusted third person? A man can also have a dialogue with his prospective wife as long as she is accompanied by her mahram. In fact, we even recommended that an individual first look at the prospective wife so as not to be disappointed with her physical appearance.
Marriage from Islamic perspective is not only a form of formalization of the relationship of husband and wife or simply meeting the needs of human nature, but more than that, it is an act of worship which is prescribed by Islam.
When we talk about love, we must recognize that love is endless, and the love story of the Prophet (Pbuh) with Siti Khadijah, Radhiallahu ‘anha, is always an impressive to read. The Prophet Muhammad never stopped loving Khadijah, and although he married several more wives after Siti Khadijah passed away in later years and loved them all, it is clear that Khadijah always had a special place in his heart. Once Aisha, (the Prophet’s, pbuh, beloved wife) asked him if Khadijah had been the only woman worthy of his love. The Prophet Muhammad replied:
“She believed in me when no one else did; she accepted Islam when people rejected me; and she helped and comforted me when there was no one else to lend me a helping hand.”
The Prophet always mentioned the name of Khadija and the favored friends of Khadija, until Khadija died. This is the story of Khadijah, the Prophet’s true love. It is a shining example of what an ideal marriage is.
Ya Rabb, guide us in your straight path. The path of those upon whom You have bestowed favour, not of those who have evoked [Your] anger or of those who are astray”. Allahumma Aamiin.
