The Blessing of Divorce: An Interview with A Sister

The Blessing of Divorce: An Interview with A Sister

The real beauty of marriage is how it brings people together; how it creates big families who love and care
for one another from among those who have once been strangers.  “And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for all those who reflect” Surat AlRoum {21}. divorce 2  The Blessing of Divorce: An Interview with A Sister divorce 2

But sometimes something goes wrong. The strangers remain strangers and the marriage turns from a “happily ever after” story to one of sadness and misery for both sides. In that case, it is only fair for the man and woman to separate, hoping to find happiness somewhere else. This separation was forbidden in the dark ages of European Christianity. Nobody seemed to care about how the couples felt and some marriages were arranged for political and social purposes only. Therefore, the marriage in many cases was not a respected relationship, and couples were sometimes unhappy and unfaithful.

Islam, on the other hand came to show sympathy and to give a solution instead of overlooking the problem. Divorce may seem to be a home wrecker, but it is actually a solution: a new page and a fresh start. The AMuslima team has interviewed Sister Halimah (not her real name), a 30 year old mother of two children, to ask her about her recent divorce. She lives at her parents’ house with her amazing children and works as a Qur’an teacher in a well-known school, and she is a happy, healthy, funny and beautiful person.

aMuslima : Assalamu Alaikom sister Halimah.

Halimah : Wa Alaikom Assalam *laughs*

aMuslima: Why are you laughing sister Halimah?

Halimah: I’m not sure, but I think I am happy today.

aMuslima: Is that how you would describe your life now? “Happy”?

Halimah: After the divorce, yes.

aMuslima: Do you think divorce is a solution?

Halimah: It sure is. And just so you know, “إن أبغض الحلال عند الله الطلاق”-“The most hated thing for Allah is divorce” is not a real hadith! Allah Allowed divorce for a reason.

aMuslima: But you do believe that marriage is a sacred relationship that we should fight to keep, don’t you?

Halimah: Of course! Because it is such a sacred commitment it has to be something beautiful and respectful. But humans are not angels and the shaitan is not dead. The cooperation between a bad person and the shaitan could bring hell to the other person in the relationship.

aMuslima: It is then the doing of the devil and we should be against it, right?

Halimah: On whose side are you?!  *laughs*

aMuslima: I’m just trying to understand how divorce is a good thing if the shaitan works hard to make it happened?

Halimah: Listen, Allah has made everything to be balanced with how He creates us. It is a bad thing to destroy a family, I know that and I can see how it affected my children’s lives, but can you imagine how a child’s life would be if it is under a dark cloud of fighting and arguments? In a short while he or she will starts taking sides and the house will be an arena! With the right understanding and agreements between the separated parents the children will have a calm and peaceful life.

aMuslima: Do you have such an agreement and such understanding between you and your ex?

Halimah: Yes, for the sake of my children, YES!

aMuslima: Will you consider re-marrying again?

Halimah: Why not! I only knew one man who decided to hurt me but I also knew about many others who fear Allah and respects marriage. My father, my uncles, my brother and probably thousands like them. The Prophet Muhammad’s daughter got divorced, no hate or anger controlled any of them. Disagreements happen and we must have faith and be patient for the best outcome.

aMuslima: So, are you happy?

Halimah: I am happy and thankful for being a Muslim. Islam respects me as an individual and gives me the right to choose.

aMuslima: Thank you for the wonderful interview sister Halimah.

Halimah: Can we order coffee now? *laughs* 

Taghreed AlBaroudi

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