Waiting to Wear My Hijab
May 2000 — 13 years ago was my personal historic month. It was my personal turning point.
That year I was living in a country, non-Muslim country. I had hijrah/moved to fulfill my duty as a Muslimah. As mentioned in Al-Quran surah Al-Ahzab: 59,
O Prophet, tell your wives, your daughters, and the wives of the believers, “Let them put out their scarf around the body.” That is so that they are easier to be known, because they are not disturbed. And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.
Many things stalled me from wearing Muslim clothing. Some of the reasons I justified in my head to not wear the hijab yet. The arguments and justification I have in my head used the word “if” and “then” statements. So “if” I performed the holy pilgrimage “then” I would wear the hijab. “If” I quit my job “then” … ; “If” I understand Islam more deeply “then”… And this argument continued until I decided to look for a verse in the Qur’an that supported these thoughts.
One night … I had a dream that seemed so real. This bad dream shouldn’t be shared with anyone but I will share with you. As this dream was the turning point for me.
This dream of mine was about a plane crash, and I was inside of it! It was this dream that made me realize that no human can hasten nor delay death.
As a result of this dream I no longer thought twice about not wearing hijab when outdoors. So, while getting ready to go to the super market I put on my veil / hijab / head cover. Although a bit worried that my current neighbors may not take to Muslims lightly I felt I needed to be cautious. My husband as well, although happy did think I needed to be cautious as well. But feeling bold and thinking that my neighborhood was pretty safe I went to the super market alone. With my new style… hijab. Allhamdulillah my trip was uneventful – just the normal trip the supermarket but wearing my hijab. 🙂
I continued to wear my hijab with my intentions still intact and the feeling of being identified inside and outside as a Muslimah was strengthened even more when I hung out with fellow sisters in Islam. Masha Allah. Allah has guided me.
Thirteen years have passed. It turns out that wearing hijab is so comfortable. I don’t feel too hot or cold. I am also not afraid of being out of style :). In fact I do not even have to bother to bring prayer clothing wherever I go because I am already covered from head to toe as performing prayer. I also do not have to be concerned to go to the salon every six months or to straighten my hair. I can save my money :).
I regret why I did not wear hijab earlier? The guidance of Allah indeed may come at any time, wherever we are, and to anyone who Allah wills.